两天瘦20斤，有人会问减肥秘诀是什么？不靠运动，不要节食，全靠我自己幻想
Two days thin 20 jin, some people will ask what is the secret of weight loss? No exercise, no diet. It"s all up to me
我发现打游戏真的能让人变年轻，刚刚我打王者，别人都叫我小学生
I found that playing games can really make people younger. Just when I played the king, others called me a primary school student
今天淋雨了，真担心，万一我可爱发芽了怎么办？
I was in the rain today. I"m really worried. What if I sprout up?
我在15楼的阳台坐了5个小时，情绪失控6次，右眼皮跳了89次，心脏疼了一晚上，始终不知道我那五毛钱到底怎么丢的，呜……
I sat on the balcony on the 15th floor for five hours. I lost control of my mood for six times. My right eyelid jumped 89 times. My heart hurt all night. I still don"t know how I lost my fifty cents
若不是你突然闯进我生活，月底泡面还剩两箱多
If you hadn"t broken into my life suddenly, there would be more than two boxes of instant noodles at the end of the month
生活太累了，决定抽一名幸运网友为我扛下所有
Too tired, take a lucky netizen to carry all for me
俗话说鱼和熊掌不可兼得，但胖和单身可以
You can"t have both fish and bear"s paws, but you can be fat and single
下辈子想做个仙女，虽然这辈子也是
I want to be a fairy in my next life, even in this life
我终于鼓起勇气和肚子上的肥肉提出了分手，可是它并不想离家出走
I finally got up the courage to break up with the fat on my stomach, but it didn"t run away from home
你对我不好，就别怪隔壁小黄，楼下小王，邻居小杨，朋友小李对我好
If you are not good to me, don"t blame Xiao Huang next door, Xiao Wang downstairs, little sample neighbor, and friend Xiao Li
以前是矮，现在不一样了，现在是又胖又矮
It used to be short. Now it"s fat and short
有人问我还不睡？我惊呆了，我能睡吗？我是保安啊，我睡了这个朋友圈的安全谁来管？
Someone asked me if I didn"t sleep? I"m stunned. Can I sleep? I"m a security guard. Who cares about the safety of this circle of friends
如果不能一夜暴富，两夜也可以，我能接受
If you can"t get rich overnight, two nights is OK. I can accept it
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