1.有时候，失望到一定程度后，反而会开出一朵花来，那朵花的名字叫，无所谓。Sometimes, when disappointment reaches a certain level, it will blossom a flower. The name of the flower is, it doesn"t matter.
2.自拍的理由很简单啊，人有旦夕祸福，往往只要一个不小心，就胖了。现在的每一刻，都可能是你余生中最瘦的时刻。The reason for taking selfies is very simple. People are in danger, and they tend to gain weight if they are not careful. Every moment now may be the thinnest moment in the rest of your life.
3.虚情假意的人别说对不起，自觉地滚就是最好的道歉。Don"t say sorry to those who are insincere. The best apology is to roll on your own initiative.
4.与其多心，不如少根筋；没心没肺，才能活着不累。It is better to have fewer tendons than to have more hearts. If you have no heart or lung, you can live without fatigue.
5.我终于摸清楚我的生理周期了。在手头紧的时候，就会感觉无助寂寞；在手头有点闲钱的时候，就会特别浪。At last I have a clear understanding of my physiological cycle. When money is tight, you will feel helpless and lonely. When you have some spare money in hand, it can be especially rough.
6.这些年赚了整整两个亿，一个回忆，一个失忆。够我挥霍一辈子。Over the years, I have earned a total of 200 million yuan, one memory and one amnesia. Enough for me to spend my whole life.
7.别人讨厌你时，你应该高傲的告诉他，你以为我喜欢你吗？When others hate you, you should proudly tell them, do you think I like you?
8.脸大有什么关系，脸美就行了，大点儿美得清楚。What"s the big difference between a face and a face? A face is beautiful. A bigger face is more beautiful.
9.我们笑的时候只需要牵动13块肌肉，皱眉的时候却需要30多块，所以不要误会，你以为我今天看起来心情好好，其实只是我懒。We only need 13 muscles when we laugh, but we need more than 30 when we frown, so don"t get me wrong, you think I look in a good mood today, but I"m just lazy.
10.说谎和沉默是现在人类社会日渐蔓延的两大罪恶。实际上，我们经常说谎，动不动就沉默。Lying and silence are the two evils that are spreading in human society. In fact, we often lie and are always silent.
11.假如有一天，你失恋了，就算再想哭，也要微笑着说：你大ye的，我值得拥有更好的！If one day, you are lovelorn, even if you want to cry again, you should smile and say: you big ye, I deserve better!
12.人活得好好的，为什么要谈个恋爱来气自己，我单身，我骄傲。People live well, why do you want to talk about love to enrage yourself, I am single, I am proud.
13.如何哄生气的男朋友呢？就是比他还生气 ，然后让他来哄你。How to coax an angry boyfriend? Is even more angry than he, and then let him to coax you.
14.给自己买个地球仪吧，世界那么大，你不但可以看看，还可以转转！Buy yourself a globe, the world is so big, you can not only look at it, but also look around!
15.说我帅可以，但我警告你，不许说我朋友，和他们没关系 。It is ok to say I am handsome, but I warn you, don"t say my friends, it has nothing to do with them.
16.安慰别人倒是一把好手，但我知道那些坎，我一个也过不去！这就是所谓的认真且怂吧！Comfort others is a good hand, but I know those candy, I also can"t pass! This is the so-called serious and unintelligent!
17.The best way to make someone remember you? Borrow money from them. 让别人记住你的最好方法？找他们借钱去。
18.不要在小人小事上浪费时间，将军有剑，不斩苍蝇。Don"t waste your time on trifles. The general has a sword and doesn"t cut flies.
19.起床不是为了应付今天的时间，而是必须做到今天要比昨天活得更精彩。Get up not to cope with today"s time, but to live better today than yesterday.
20.相爱没有证据，吃醋没有资格，付出过也没有回报，别人是凭本事单身，我是凭长相单身。Love has no evidence, jealousy has no qualification, giving has no return, others are single by skill, I am single by appearance.
21.别的女生的20岁：用的香奈儿包古奇包芬迪包爱马仕包lv包宝格丽包。你的20岁：只配用得起表情包。Other girls are 20 years old: Chanel bag Gucci bag Fendi bag Hermes bag lv bag Bulgari bag. Your 20-year-old can only afford facial expression bags.
22.别摆出这幅闷闷不乐的样子，开心如果被吓跑了，你就是一个罪人！Don"t put on this gloomy appearance. If happiness is scared away, you are a sinner!
23.一个人到世界上来，来做什么？爱最可爱的、听最好听的、看最好看的、吃最好吃的。What does a person come to the world to do? Love the cutest, listen to the best, watch the best and eat the best.
24.就因为太闲了，所以才有精力失眠，所以才有心思矫情。Just because I am too idle, I have the energy to lose sleep, so I have the mind to be melodramatic.
25.幸福不是房子有多大，而是房里的笑声有多甜。Happiness is not how big the house is, but how sweet the laughter in the house is.
26.容易发怒的意思就是：别人做了蠢事，然后我们代替他们，表现出笨蛋的样子。Angry means: people do stupid things, and then we replace them and act like idiots.
27.你要做一个人也能去吃小龙虾的人，潇洒肆意，做自己喜欢的事情，吃自己喜欢的东西。You have to be a person who can eat crayfish, be natural and unrestrained, do what you like and eat what you like.
28.连起床这么艰难的事你都做到了，接下来的一天还有什么能难倒你。Even if you have done such a difficult thing as getting up, what else can beat you in the next day?
文/小宇爱读好书爱搞笑
为不悔的青春，为我爱的人，加油……
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