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一、你想知道我保持年轻的秘诀吗？嘿嘿，那就是谎报年龄。
Do you want to know my secret of staying young? Hey, that"s lying about your age.
二、我早就知道岁月会磨平我的棱角，但是我怎么也没想到它还会把我按在地上反复的摩擦。
I have long known that the years will smooth my edges and corners, but I never thought it would put me on the ground repeatedly friction.
三、一天，一只未成年的小龙被他爸教训了，原因就是它竟然偷看成龙的电影。
One day, a minor dragon was his father lesson, the reason is that it actually peeped Jackie Chan"s movies.
四、我不管你们是混的什么圈子，反正我混的是黑眼圈。
I don"t care what you are mixed circle, anyway What I mix is black eye circle.
五、谁的酒馆要是对我打了烊，谁就是小肚鸡肠。
Whose tavern if closed to me, who is a bellybelly chicken.
六、我就是传说中的焦糖女孩，长相甜美但是容易焦虑的女孩。
I am the legend of the caramel girl, sweet but easy to worry about the girl.
七、来看我朋友圈的，请记得带上游泳圈，以防坠入爱河。
If you come to see my circle of friends, please remember to bring a swimming ring in case you fall in love.
八、吃完饭，一躺在沙发上我就懒得动了，连灵机一动的那种动都不行。
After dinner, a lie on the sofa, I am too lazy to move, even the kind of inspiration is not good.
九、要是人没有梦想，那跟无忧无虑的猪有什么区别呢？挺好的。
If the person does not have a dream, that with carefree pig have what distinction? It"s good.
十、我今天很多的烦恼，但是我也不知道怎么去形容她，那么我就暂且称它为公主的那些烦恼吧！
If the person does not have a dream, that with carefree pig have what distinction? It"s good.
十一、我一直都是个很自律的人，例如，我说了我要减肥，那么我就会一直坚持的说下去。
I have always been a very disciplined person, for example, I said I want to lose weight, then I will keep on talking.
十二、有时候，我觉得我还挺会哄人的，我发消息问一句：在吗？他们就说要睡觉了。
Sometimes, I think I will quite coax, I send a message to ask: in? And they said they were going to sleep.
十三、有钱人的快乐，我是体会不到的，大概也许是因为当局者迷吧！
The happiness of the rich, I can not experience, perhaps because of the local fan it!
十四、当你打开朋友圈的时候，你就又看到了我这个你得不到的女人。
When you open the circle of friends, you will see me this woman you can"t get.
十五、如果有一天，你很难过想哭的时候，请你打电话给我，让我知道你也有今天。
If one day, you are very sad to cry, please call me, let me know you also have today.
十六、我真希望我的腿，能像南孚电池一样，一节更比一节高。
I really hope my leg, can be like nanfu battery, a more than a high.
十七、我真是太累了，今天来抽一名幸运观众为我抗下所有。
I am so tired, today to draw a lucky audience for me to fight all.
十八、晚上准备睡觉的时候，摸了一下自己，啊！好痛，果然美丽的玫瑰都是带刺的。
Ready to go to bed at night, touched his own, ah! It hurts, and sure enough, beautiful roses have thorns.
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