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吴亦凡的女友叫鹿依，刘阳的出轨对象叫半藏森林，由此可见男生都喜欢偏向大自然一点的网名，我决定我改名叫花开富贵。
Wu Yifan"s girlfriend is Lu Yi, and Liu Yang"s cheating object is Bancang forest. It can be seen that boys like the online name of nature. I decided to change my name to huakaifugui.
睡觉了的跟我互删 这么爱自己的身体 肯定没时间爱我 都不问问我睡觉了没有
I love my body so much that I don"t have time to love me. I don"t even ask if I"m sleeping
轻轻拍拍自己的小肚子，告诉它：你不胖，你只是珍珠奶茶甜甜圈小蛋糕关东煮水果捞烤鸡翅的港湾。
Pat your stomach and tell it: you"re not fat, you"re just a pearl milk tea doughnut cake, a harbor where you cook fruits and roast chicken wings.
白云好懒，不涂防晒，变成了乌云，然后委屈地哭了起来。
Baiyun is so lazy that he doesn"t put on sunscreen and turns into a dark cloud. Then he cries wrongly.
和其他公主一样每天都有骑士带着不同的吃的来看我，唯一不同的是我的骑士要收配送费。
Like other princesses, knights come to see me with different food every day. The only difference is that my knights charge delivery fees.
现在的女孩子真有意思，和一个男生看电影就发说说炫耀，我和四十几个男的一起上课我说过什么了吗？
Now girls are really interesting, and a boy to watch a movie on the hair to show off, I and more than 40 men in class together, I said what?
饭后吃水果是错误的观念，正确的做法是饭前吃，否则可能被别人吃了。
It"s a wrong idea to eat fruit after a meal. The correct way is to eat it before a meal, otherwise it may be eaten by others.
我发现我还挺能骗男孩子上床的，只要我给他一发消息，他就说要上床睡觉了。
I find that I can cheat a boy into going to bed. As soon as I send him a message, he says he"s going to bed.
我终于买了我人生中的第一辆车，劳斯莱斯幻觉。
I finally bought the first car of my life, the Rolls Royce illusion.
（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）
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