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最近我很得意,小时候爸妈跟我说的“别人家的孩子”,混的还没我好呢!
Recently, I"m very proud. When I was a child, my parents told me that "other people"s children" are not as good as me!
要记住那些陪你聊天聊到深夜的人,就是她们才让你黑眼圈那么重皮肤那么差。
Remember that those who chat with you late into the night, it is they who make you have dark circles under your eyes and bad skin.
我是个比较成熟的人,像赌气不吃东西这种事都是吃饱后才做的。
I"m a mature person. I don"t eat until I"m full.
当你放了一个屁 一定要说:什么东西糊了 这样周围的人就会猛吸光你的屁。
When you fart, you must say: something is burnt, so that people around you will suck up your fart.
当初那个可爱的我早已不见,取而代之的是一个更可爱的我。
At the beginning of that lovely I have long disappeared, replaced by a more lovely me.
我生气的时候你别笑,你一笑我也想笑,很没面子。
Don"t laugh when I"m angry. I want to laugh when you smile. I have no face.
你未必忠诚,只是没钱去浪;你未必痴情;只是没机会放荡。
You may not be loyal, just no money to wave; you may not be infatuated; just no chance to loose.
算算自己的工资涨幅,在算算猪肉的,你就会发现,连猪都不如!
Calculate their own wage increases, in the calculation of pork, you will find that even pigs are inferior!
橙汁里含3%就叫橙汁,我照片里有3%的我怎么就不能是我本人?
Orange juice contains 3% is called orange juice. I have 3% in my picture. Why can"t I be myself?
爱情就像狼来了,你以为它来了,却是假的,你以为它是假的,它却真的来了。
Love is like a wolf. You think it"s coming, but it"s fake. You think it"s fake, but it"s really coming.
最近自拍会发得很少,因为我盗图的那个姐姐刚刚发现我了,把我拉黑了。
Recently, there are very few self portraits, because my sister who stole the pictures just found me and made me black.
你从小就被教育不要乱花钱,长大后才发现,根本没有钱供你乱花。
You have been taught not to spend money indiscriminately since you were young. When you grow up, you find that there is no money for you to spend indiscriminately.
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