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1、你们班，我数了一下，就数你最好看。
I counted. You are the most beautiful in your class.
2、碰见一个可爱的妹子，鼓起勇气问她：“同学你好，我是土木工程系的，你是哪个系的？”
妹子对我微微一笑：“我是跟你没关系的。”
When I met a lovely girl, I summoned up my courage to ask her, "Hello, classmate. I"m from the civil engineering department. Which department are you from?"
The lovely girl smiled at me, "I have nothing to do with you."
3、如果一个男人打女人，那他就是一个废物。如果一个男人被女人给打了，那他也是个废物。
If a man beats a woman, he is a waste. If a man is beaten by a woman, he is also a waste.
4、切洋葱的时候，我总是闭着眼，以为这样就不会流眼泪了，但当我切到手的那一瞬间，我还是哭了。
When I cut onions, I always close my eyes. I thought I would not cry. But when I cut my hands, I cried.
5、好看的皮囊千遍一律，都不喜欢我。
Good looking bodies are the same thousands of times, do not like me.
6、我女朋友做过最让我感动的事，就是为了不打扰我平静的生活，至今还没有出现。
My girlfriend has done the most touching thing for me: in order not to disturb my peaceful life, it has not yet appeared.
7、刚刚出去玩，有女的问我要qq，神经病啊，要qq不会自己注册啊，我用了这么久的号能给你吗？
When I just went out to play, there was a woman who wanted my QQ number. She was insane. If she wanted QQ, she would not register herself. Can I give you the number I used so long?
8、说实话，我真的挺羡慕你的皮肤，你说你怎么能把它保养得这么厚。
To be honest, I really envy your skin. How can you keep it so thick.
9、“说，你除了吃还会什么”
“还会饿”
"Say, what else can you eat?"
"Still hungry"
10、我真的服了微信里某些女孩子，觉得自己长得好看，隔三差五就发自拍，我真的无语，要发就天天发，我愿意看，求求你了！
I really convinced some girls in wechat. They think they are good-looking, and often send photos of themselves. I"m really speechless. If you want to send photos, you can send them every day. I"d like to see them. Please!
11、机会总是留给那些准备好钱的人。
Opportunities are always reserved for those who have prepared their money.
12、我是天使，回不去天堂是因为体重原因。
I"m an angel. I can"t go back to heaven because of my weight.
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