友情提示：本文共有 1742 个字，阅读大概需要 4 分钟。
本来准备今年瘦成一道闪电，亮瞎你们的眼，不想竟然胖成了坚果墙，挡住了你们的视线。
Originally prepared to thin into a lightning this year, bright blind your eyes, do not want to fat into a nut wall, blocking your sight.
什么是友谊？我毕业后换过4个手机号，谁也没告诉，然而同学结婚时还是联系到了我！
What is friendship? I changed four mobile phone numbers after graduation, no one told me, but my classmates still contacted me when they got married!
到了我这个年纪，会在你耳边轻轻唱歌，喜欢你的肉体，还会送你包包的，就只剩下蚊子了。
At my age, I will sing in your ear, like your body, and give you bags. Only mosquitoes are left.
你想一夜暴富吗？你想一夜资产过亿吗？不如和我在一起，我们一起想。
Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million yuan overnight? Why don"t you stay with me? Let"s think about it together.
不要相信女人的鸡汤，她们为了自拍，什么话都能说出来。
Don"t believe in women"s chicken soup. They can say anything for self portrait.
扪心自问，如果你是别人，你愿意和自己搞对象么？想都不敢想，哪有这种福气！ 小时候，我最喜欢玩捉迷藏，等别人藏好了，我就回家吃饭。单身的唯一理由是丑吗？不，不光自己丑，还总是嫌别人丑！
Ask yourself, if you are someone else, are you willing to make friends with yourself? Don"t even think about it. How can you be so lucky! When I was a child, I liked playing hide and seek best. When others hid, I would go home for dinner. Is the only reason to be single ugly? No, I"m not only ugly, but also ugly!
大学食堂最经典的菜名是：胡萝卜皮炒胡萝卜肉。
The most classic dish name of university canteen is: carrot skin fried carrot meat.
如果蚊子不吸血，改行抽脂肪，那它绝对是国家一级保护动物。
If the mosquito doesn"t suck blood but instead sucks fat, it is definitely a national first-class protected animal.
还没有拉黑你的原因是，可以在失落的时候，看看你过得有多惨，然后瞬间精神抖擞。
The reason why you haven"t been black is that you can see how miserable your life is when you are lost, and then you will be full of energy instantly.
吾日三省吾身，省着点吃，省着点买，省着点用。
I think about myself every day, save food, buy and use.
（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）
本文如果对你有帮助，请点赞收藏《幽默搞笑的句子 沙雕有趣 哪一句逗你开心了！》，同时在此感谢原作者。
