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我今天真的是太累了，想用一瓶娃哈哈来收买一名幸运的观众朋友帮我扛下所有的难过。
I am really too tired today, I want to buy a lucky audience friend with a bottle of Wahaha to help me carry all the sadness.
你是喜欢草莓汁，番茄汁，还是我这个可爱的小崽汁。
Do you prefer strawberry juice, tomato juice, or my sweet baby juice?
这个世界就是太不公平了，有人吧，对象换了一个又一个，但是有人吧，从出生到现在，单了一年又一年。
This world is too unfair, someone, the object changed one after another, but someone, from birth to now, single year after year.
我这么可爱，你要是把我给弄丢了，我告诉你，别人捡到了，肯定是不会还给你的。
I"m so cute, if you lose me, I tell you, someone else found it, certainly will not return it to you.
大家好，我是快乐星球的警察，现在你有权保持沉默，但是请配合我的工作，我现在要抓走你们所有的不开心，带到我的快乐星球关起来。
Hello everyone, I"m a happy Planet policeman, you have the right to remain silent now, but please cooperate with my work, I am now going to take all your unhappy, take to my happy planet and lock up.
也不知道为什么，在通往成功的这条道路上，好像常年都在施工，以至于我到现在都没有到达。
I don"t know why, on the road to success, it seems to have been under construction for years, so I haven"t arrived yet.
请问你遇见男神做的最尴尬的一件事情是什么？大概就是本来想对他回眸一笑，彻底征服他的，是谁曾料想到，就在回眸的那一瞬间，我竟然笑出了一个鼻涕泡。
What is the most embarrassing thing you have done when you have met a male god? Probably was originally intended to smile back at him, completely conquered him, who had expected that at the moment of looking back, I actually laughed out of a snot bubble.
不知不觉地，最近好像又圆润了很多，唉，看来我的可爱度又要增加了。
Imperceptibly, recently seems to be a lot of mellow, alas, it seems that my degree of cuteness and to increase.
总是头晕，最近去看了一下医生，医生告诉我，说我有低血糖，要多听一些甜甜的话才可以治好。
Always dizzy, recently went to see a doctor, the doctor told me that I have hypoglycemia, to listen to some sweet words can be cured.
也不知道有生之年，你可不可以允许我这样一路蹦蹦跳跳，撒着小星星跑到你的心里面去呢！
I do not know if you can allow me to run all the way to your heart with little stars.
你知不知道我的出场费是很贵的，需要四个冰淇淋甜筒才可以的！
Did you know that my appearance fee is very expensive? I need four ice cream cones!
你知道怎么泡女孩子吗？不知道，也没有关系，我可以给你练练手。
Do you know how to pick up girls? I don"t know. I don"t care. I can give you some practice.
也不知道那些恋爱中的情侣为什么要吵架冷战，作为一个单身狗，我劝你们，有什么是打一架解决不了的？
I don"t know why those couples in love quarrel and cold war, as a single dog, I advise you, what is not a fight to solve?
希望我们女孩子都对自己好一点，有些事情能怪男朋友的，就不要怪自己啦！
I hope we girls are good to themselves, some things can blame her boyfriend, don"t blame yourself!
结语：为什么一个人伤心难过的时候想吃东西吗？我告诉你那是因为伤心欲嚼！哈哈哈哈哈！
why a person sad sad when want to eat? I tell you it"s because it"s heartbreaking! Ha ha ha ha ha!
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