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1、本来今年想咸鱼翻身，结果粘锅了。
Originally, I wanted to do a salted fish turn over this year, but it stuck to the pot.
2、周末前：我不干点啥正事对不起这两天假
周末后：对不起
Before the weekend: if I don"t do something serious, I"m sorry for the two days off
After the weekend: sorry
3、我的小肚子太博爱了，甜的酸的辣的冰的，它都爱吃。
My stomach is too fraternal, sweet, sour, spicy, ice, it loves to eat.
4、他凶我的时候，我愣住了，我连他埋在哪里都想好了。
When he yelled at me, I was stunned. I even thought about where he was buried.
5、恋爱的烦恼有一千种，而单身的烦恼只有想恋爱一种，所以还是单身划算啊！
There are 1000 kinds of troubles in love, and the trouble of being single is only to want to love, so it is worthwhile to be single!
6、可以和你相亲吗？就是你亲我一下，我亲你一下的那种。
Can I make a blind date with you? It"s like: you kiss me, I kiss you.
7、我才不要跟你做朋友，我又不缺朋友，我缺你。
I don"t want to be friends with you. I don"t lack friends. I lack you.
8、我不能翘课，我太漂亮了，老师肯定会发现的。
I can"t skip class. I"m so beautiful. The teacher will find out.
9、做个招人喜欢的女孩子，不知道怎么做的话，可以参考下我。
Be a lovely girl, if you don"t know how to do it, you can refer to me.
10、想染粉色头发，请问是漂的时候头皮比较疼，还是被我爸发现后挨打比较疼。
If you want to dye your pink hair, is your scalp more painful when floating, or is it more painful to be beaten when my father finds out.
11、不能给你摘天上的星星跟月亮，只能给你捡地上的空瓶来维持点生活了。
I can"t pick you the stars and the moon in the sky, but I can only pick up the empty bottle on the ground for you to maintain a little life.
12、我真的太服我男朋友了，居然到现在还不出现。
I really admire my boyfriend. He doesn"t show up yet.
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