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你就是三等公民，听说过三等公民吗？等吃，等睡，等死。
You are a third-class citizen. Have you ever heard of a third-class citizen? Wait to eat, wait to sleep, wait to die.
每一次量体重。轻了就对自己说：瘦了。重了就对自己说：长肌肉了。
Measure your weight every time. Light on their own said: thin. If you are heavy, say to yourself: grow muscles.
考试得了零分，我大声嚷嚷：“老天啊，我到底做错了什么？”同桌冷冷地回答：“你做错了所有的题。”
When I got zero in the exam, I shouted, "God, what did I do wrong?" my deskmate replied coldly, "you did all the questions wrong."
不要和比你丑的人吵架，不 然 别人以为你在欺负他。
Don"t quarrel with someone uglier than you, or others will think you are bullying him.
今年的愿望是，再努努力看能不能把去年许的愿先实现了。
This year"s wish is to try again to see if the wish made last year can be realized first.
老师是个光头，有一次上课，他说：“如果我的左手是正极，右手是负极，双手相握会如何？”我同桌答道：“你脑壳就亮了。”
The teacher is a bald head. Once in class, he said, "if my left hand is the positive pole and my right hand is the negative pole, what will happen if I hold my hands?" my deskmate replied, "your skull will be bright."
我是一个很有原则的人，说到底我做人的原则只有三个字，看心情。
I am a very principled person. In the final analysis, my principle of life is only three words. It depends on my mood.
每次我看你吃猪肉都万分感慨。本是同根生。相煎何太急。
Every time I see you eat pork, I feel very sad. Ben is from the same root. Why is it too urgent to fry each other.
只要你肯努力，世界上没有什么事情是你搞不砸的！
As long as you are willing to work hard, there is nothing you can"t screw up in the world!
你的朋友圈好久没提及星球、银河、宇宙、梦想、文学了，怎么，是不是跟我一样去打工了？
Your circle of friends hasn"t mentioned the planet, galaxy, universe, dream and literature for a long time. Why, did you go to work like me?
小区楼下，我拿着马克笔在一辆吉利小轿车上乱画，结果被车主撞见了。车主：“你涂啥呢？”我：“没啥，就图个吉利。”
Downstairs in the community, I scrawled on a Geely car with a marker. As a result, I was caught by the owner. Owner: "what are you painting?" I: "nothing, just good luck."
别再抱怨你在十四亿人中找不到一个对的人了，考试时你选择题四个选项都找不到一个对的。
Don"t complain that you can"t find a right person among 1.4 billion people. You can"t find a right one of the four options of multiple-choice questions in the exam.
小时候，我们都犯过错误，老是把20来岁的女生叫成阿姨，男生叫成叔叔，于是现在遭报应了，出来混迟早是要还的！
When we were young, we all made mistakes. We always called girls in their 20s aunts and boys uncles, so now we are rewarded. We have to pay them back sooner or later!
世 上 最远的距离就是，我想和你叙叙旧，你却问我要不要代购。
The furthest distance in the world is that I want to catch up with you, but you ask me if I want to buy it on my behalf.
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